While its true he never told me the reason he left and never admitted anything, I believe he had an affair and that it was of course going on for a long time. I know in my heart the truth although he says its still isn't true. In a way, this all seems like a dream. A dream that never ends. My husband and I are still married, but we don't live together. He lives in a different town and I rarely hear from him. You see, he came back and decided he didn't want the divorce, but then took a job far away from home. And there never has been a chance to heal or to work on our marriage. The last time I spoke with him, I told him I considered myself husbandless and talked about sending him the divorce papers. But he said he wanted to come home and so I began again to get my hopes up. And for a little while, he called frequently, but now its back the same way and he hasn't called in a month. How can a marriage work under circumstances like this. I don't know. I know I am tired of being alone and sad and not knowing what the future holds. Don't get me wrong, I am not interested in finding someone new. I love my husband. But I can't hang in limbo anymore. He needs to decide if he wants to be here or not and if he wants to be a husband or not. Now if only I could say that to him. I would have my answer. Because if he leaves then its done. If he comes back, I will work with him to make our marriage work. I just can't do it alone.